I Bet You CAN Lose Weight: 4% in 28 days

Before I can post about the roller coaster ride my life has been over the past week and a half, I’ve decided I must write about my upcoming DietBet. I need participants! 

Exactly how I felt when I got on the scale last month. This is from some site on losing weight by going herbal.

(Disclaimer: By the way, this is not a sponsored post. DietBet won’t even know I’m writing this until after it’s posted, when they may chastise me and tell me I can’t use their name or something. I don’t know about rules when it comes to blogging.)

In February, SelfishMom convinced me to join her DietBet. I’d been slowly letting the weight creep back on, so this was a great incentive to get my growing ass moving again.  It’s just what it sounds like – you make a bet based on losing weight.  I wasn’t sure I could do it, but I figured losing money is always a motivator to me so why not try it?  I won: my $50 back plus an additional $33. And I lost 8 pounds.  

Several of my friends thought this was a cool idea and wanted to participate.  With an upcoming beach vacation in May (now cancelled, and that’s another post in itself, part of the whole damn roller coaster ride), I figured I’d host my own bet.

A very ugly picture of my messy room and what I looked like going into my first DietBet.

Here are some basics.

• The game starts on Monday, April 9. This lets everyone go have fun the week before Easter (it’s Spring Break around here) and enjoy their Easter brunches or candy or whatever (for those who celebrate) and weigh in on Monday.
• Buy-in is $50.
• Bet is that you will lose 4% of your current body weight in 28 days.  (Game ends on Monday, May 7.)
• The pot gets split between everyone who meets the goal of 4%. There’s no special award for losing the most weight or losing weight the fastest.  If you meet the goal, you win.
• Participant must be at least 18-years-old.
• You can lose weight through any method that works for you. There’s no set diet plan, nothing to buy, no specific exercises.

Because I have people from all over participating, there is room for cheating. I’m inviting people I trust and asking them to invite people they trust. Hopefully there are no sore losers out there who are intent on cheating us out of our money.

How it works:

1. E-mail me or leave me a comment with your contact information and I’ll send you an invitation.
2. Follow the link I send and register on the DietBet site. You do not need to pay when you accept the invitation, but I must receive your money before the game begins.  You’ll need to send the money via PayPal.  I’ll send more directions when you request an invite.
3. On Monday, April 9, weigh in. This is where trust comes in.  You’ll email or picture message me a picture of you on the scale, and the picture must show the weight on the scale. You can take this picture looking down at your feet.  Use the same scale, dress the same way  you will dress and weigh in at the same time of day you will on May 7.  Don’t layer up for April 9 and then get on the scale naked on May 7.  Or pig out all day for weigh in and then weigh before you eat anything on the final day.
4. Go about the next 28 days doing what works for you as far as losing weight. Encourage or set-up friendly competition with the other participants.
5. On May 7, weigh in and again send me a picture. Once I have everyone’s weights I’ll let you know how many people met the goal and get the money sent out.

During my DietBet I really looked forward to interacting with other players. Some were on the DietBet site regularly, posting successes and frustrations.  Others we didn’t hear from at all other than weigh in.  It’s completely up to you how much you want to participate in the site. You can find other people to talk to on Twitter using the #DietBet hashtag.

So, comment or email me if you want to participate. If you’re a blogger, leave me a link to your page. I may require references or background check. J

What have you got to lose, other than weight, and maybe $50?

My goal weight. This isn't a great picture. Go to my previous post for a picture of my true goal!  Yes, it is inappropriate to ask me if I'm wearing anything underneath this dress. 

Who is that pale skinny woman?

I recently linked up with Bloggy Moms and joined The Blog Dare. I'm hoping this will help jump start my writing.  Today's idea is to post an old photo and write about what was happening.  Since I don't have access to my photos at home right now, I found one I posted on Facebook.

This is a picture of me at my senior prom - 1992.  Why no boyfriend in the picture? Well, because I'd gotten married during winter break of my senior year. (And contrary to popular belief, I was NOT pregnant.) If you look closely you'll see a wedding band on my finger. The dress was borrowed from my sister-in-law and altered to fit me. Believe it or not, in those days I ate fat cheesburgers and fries, burritos, etc. (Again, contrary to the beliefs of some, I was NOT anorexic.)  The glory of being young and having a great metabolism!

Now, because I don't want to leave just that picture up, here's a picture from two years ago. My daughter was given this dress at a yard sale and I decided to try it on.  This picture is part of my motivation to lose weight and get back in shape, along with my DietBet (which I'll write more about later).

I'd been doing cardio kickboxing two to three days a week for a year when this picture was taken. I'd lost about 30 pounds.  I want to look like this again for my next Burlesque show in May - 8 pounds (and some toning) to go!

Scarlett Sinsation Flops Big Time

I've been meaning to post for weeks. I've had some good ideas, but then when I start to write, *POOF* the words are gone.  My life just isn't that interesting, ya know? I'm a working, married, mom of 4.  2 of the 4 don't live at home but pop in and out throughout the month. They don't talk like little adults or give me lots of material to use. Hell, two of them ARE adults and still don't talk like it. I don't have great parenting tips to offer. I don't cook, I'm not particularly crafty, and I like to read but wouldn't want to write about what I read.  My job isn't exciting and if I tried to talk about it most people would have no clue what I was talking about. Occasionally I wish I worked at a place like Wal-Mart. At least I'd have funny stories that everyone could enjoy.  I'm pretty sure I'd get arrested or fired rather quickly, though, since I have very little patience for stupidity.   So that doesn't leave me much to write about.

I love this picture. I wish I looked like this as I sat with writer's block. This is from A Novel Menagerie - a website of book reviews, movie reviews, & more.

What this is leading to is another post about my love of Burlesque dancing. And a video that I have not shared because I look like I have a giant marshmallow for a waist and you can't see me through half the performance, because, well, you'll see why if you watch the video.

I gained weight before the performance. I bought a costume I thought was super cute: a pin-striped mini-skirt and top with a white tie. For some insane reason, I thought that wearing white tights under my fishnets, and pulling the top of the tights up under my top would look okay. But it didn't. While I was dancing, the top kept riding up and then you'd see what looked like marshmallow fluff where my waist should have been... Not attractive. Not at all. On top of that, I'd had a really hard time learning the choreography for this performance. I don't know why - it just wasn't sinking in.

WARNING: This may or may not be similar to what I look like in this video.  Proceed at your own risk. I found this image at artistic abominations sociallyunacceptableart Tumblr account  - if it's not okay to use this here, I'll be happy to remove it if requested.  Also, I don't really know what Tumblr is.

When I saw the video, I swore I wouldn't share it, but I've decided that since I haven't managed to post in ages and writing about my burlesque experiences is the only thing I seem to actually be able to find words for, here you have it.  It's my worst performance of all three. I look awful and I mess up A LOT.

My beautiful and talented girl crush, Sass Herass, was our instructor for this.  Take a peek - hope you enjoy!  Watch Sass (in the middle) so you can see what I SHOULD have looked like.

As always, don't forget to check out The Sizzling Sirens' website for more information on upcoming shows and classes - they're the most incredible group of women!

2011 - Coulda Been Worse

Almost everyone I know ushered out 2011 with a huge sigh of relief, a loud exclamation of "Thank God it's over!", or similar expressions of joy.  2011 in three words?  A lot of people went with "coulda been better". To my surprise, and probably that of those who know me best, I didn't feel the same sense of exhilaration.  Don't get me wrong - I wasn't sad to say goodbye.  But my first thought was "Coulda been worse!"  Which is rather unlike me.

So here's my recap of my 2011. If you know me, you probably know all of this.  If you don't know me,  you probably don't care and aren't reading this post anyway. The saying is "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly."  I think I'll stick with the good and the ugly, since bad and ugly seem almost the same to me.

Ugliest: 2011 came in with my 17-year-old having been a runaway for a month.  We had a vague idea of where she was and what she was doing, neither great news but she was at least unharmed and relatively safe.  After finally being picked up, she spent a month in juvenile hall and then we all hopped aboard a roller coaster for a wild ride through a six month group home stay.  At some point in the future I'll write more about this in detail - in hopes to help others who think they're alone when their teen is in trouble.  For those who are told it's all their fault.  For those who aren't told it's their fault but blame themselves anyway, because that's what parents do. And for myself.

Runners-up: 

• The large child support payments due to the aforementioned group home situation. 
• Owing taxes for the first time ever, and for thousands, thanks to cashing out my retirement when my husband was out of work and me being an idiot and not being on top of things.
• Stupid ass high deductible plan with a company I will leave as soon as I can figure out how to swing it.  $120 for an appt with my primary care provider to try to get a prescription that I'd been on for years before switching to said company, only to be told I had to see a psychiatrist.  Tried to make that appointment but was told I had to see an intake counselor first.  She thought my primary care provider should be able to write my prescription, but had to check with the psychiatrist who then decided she needed to talk to me first.  So after 15 minutes with an intake counselor, 15 minutes with a psychiatrist, and another $550 out-of-pocket I finally left with my prescription.  Same company charged me $110 for an eyeglass and contact lens exam and then told me after that exam that I'd need to schedule a contact lens fitting for an additional $125 - a $40 discount from the standard fee.  Coulda had both done, at the same time, for $165 somewhere else. 
• Feeling my depression and anxiety reaching the point that I needed to go see the doctor to begin with.

The best: My daughter coming home from the group home and getting and keeping a job since then.  It's not all rosy - having an 18-year-old with no driver's license who wants to be on her own but isn't quite ready and who knows how to push all my buttons is challenging - but the group home experience made a huge difference in her life and ours.

Runners-up:

• My two oldest daughters graduating high school. 
• Finding a best friend I can talk to about anything.  She's a little crazy, and sometimes I feel like I have another child, but she is always there for me.
• Watching my youngest grow as a cheerleader and make new friends.  Sometimes she hated it, but most of the time she loved it and we both made friends through her involvement.  
• My son finally pulling out of his funk (albeit it having to move to his mom's to do it) and getting his grades back on track.
• Spending Thanksgiving with my mom in Idaho - seeing her new house, checking out the falls, and just spending more than a few hours together.
• Getting involved in Burlesque and performing three times.
• Being dubbed the "Starbucks Fairy" at the office and getting my own gold Starbucks card complete with my name printed on it. (The two have nothing to do with each other.)
• Finding Mushroom Printing and Band Back Together.  Two fabulous sites that let you be the writer or support those who do write by leaving comments or both.  Also found Mommy Wants Vodka and TheBloggess and many other great blogs. Most of which make me doubt my own ability to be a blog author because they are so well done.
• Finding a chiropractor who genuinely cares about his patients' health.
• My husband getting a much deserved promotion.
• American Horror Story.
• Underarm waxing. Painful but worth it.
• Milo's gyros.  

I could eat one of these almost everyday.

So there you have it.  Not too exciting, I know.  2012 is scheduled to bring an iPhone 4s; a 6-day,5-night all-inclusive trip to Los Cabos; a new tooth for my husband; my husband's first ever trip to Vegas - a guys trip for his 40th birthday; and Disneyland for a cheer competition. All before April. Something entertaining and blog-worthy is sure to come out of this!

What were your good, bad, and ugly moments of 2011 and what are you looking forward to in 2012?

Taking Off the Muzzle

This post may ramble, be boring, and just plain not make sense. But I've told myself I will write something and post it - no matter how many self doubts creep in. I won't reread it for two days wondering if it's good enough or if I've offended someone.

I was excited to start writing again after many years of muzzling that part of myself.  I thought I had some good ideas.  I read several blogs and thought, "I can do this. I know I can."  And I wrote a handful of posts. And then nothing.

Part of the problem is that I originally intended this to be an anonymous blog - some place I could finally write out my pain, my frustration, my sadness, my joys, my thoughts without being judged and worrying about putting the people I know on the defensive.  But then I shared it with a few close friends, and a few more friends, and now I'm afraid to write.  I think that before I can be the creative writer I wish to be, I need to get out everything I've been holding in for so long.

I am not a happy-go-lucky, optimistic, look-on-the-bright-side kind of person.  I've been condemned for that repeatedly.  While I do try not to always be the pessimistic bitch that I can be, I don't hesitate to share the bad day stories along with the great day stories.    I don't want my friends to only ever tell me the good in their lives - because that's not reality. Sometimes life sucks and sometimes we need to let it out!

What will you find out about me if you continue reading my blog in the future?  I suffer from depression and often go to bed praying I won't wake up in the morning. I hate being a parent but love my children. I'm certain that people don't think of me often but when they do it's negative.  I'm bored easily. I love to dance but am not good at playing.  I need time to myself like a fish needs water - I start to slowly (or not so slowly) go crazy if I haven't had quiet alone time.  My social anxiety often results in people thinking I'm snobbish or overly quiet. Or they think I'm a drunk who never shuts up - because I tend to drink too much in an effort to overcome said social anxiety. I enjoy being wanted but feel suffocated when needed.  My noise sensitivity could cause sharp pointy objects to fly through my office at some point soon and often results in me snapping at my kids.  I'm almost never actually "sick" by most people's definition when I call in sick - I've usually crashed into a wall of fatigue and my body feels so heavy that rolling over in bed is too much effort and my legs ache as if I've walked miles and miles.  I will do anything I can to help you and be there for you, even if we don't like each other. I love to read and my ideal vacation is simply sitting in a tropical place near a pool or ocean reading a book. You will see all of these things in my posts. They won't always be happy or funny.  They won't be full of wonderful.  They'll just be me.  So if you've come here from my Facebook page and don't appreciate the things I post there, then you most definitely don't want to read what I'll write here and absolutely you must stay away from following me on Twitter!  Twitter is where I filter myself the least.  But if you want to read more about how the Real Housewives of Placer County are driving me batty, or how I think maybe I'm becoming one of them, or what my kids did that made my head spin around, or my latest Burlesque experience, or the random bizarre thoughts that went through my mind today, or how hurt I am by something, or one of a bazillion stories that show what a  shitty parent I am - then please come back and read and comment.

Imagine this 20-some years later--that would be me some days.