Of course I stressed about what to wear. I really wanted to do the bra with little vest, but my lack of workouts and love of food took away that possibility. I also had this image of the skirt I wanted to wear but couldn't find it anywhere. At the last minute I found the corset I'm wearing. It's my favorite so far - my boobs looked the best I've seen them in awhile. It was so nice to bring them out for the night. It's not easy to find something that makes my tennis-balls-in-tube-sock looking breasts look less so. I cut the skirt off of my Halloween costume, tucked it under the corset, and was happy with the final look. The tights are definitely my favorite so far. I'd love to wear my black stilettos but I knew I'd fall on my face or twist an ankle.
|Getting ready to perform! See more pictures here.|
This week I began my third workshop series. I'd planned to take a break until spring, but after Friday's show I couldn't resist signing up again. I'd hoped to do the 8-week class, but my hesitation meant the classes were already full. So, another four-week series it is. We'll perform on December 2. And for the first time I left class not at all excited about practicing or the upcoming performance.
Why is that? I'm still not sure. Maybe it's the depression that I'm trying to keep at bay with a combination of exercise and medications but that manifests itself at random times. Maybe it was watching the video the first time and not seeing the overall picture but instead only my mistakes. Maybe it's the feeling of disconnect with the other students - it takes at least one, sometimes two, classes to connect. Maybe it's the song: Queen's "Body Language". I don't do slow well. Maybe it's the choreography that seems so different from what I was expecting and I feel like I can't get. Maybe it's the "do what you want for this four count". That freaks me out. I immediately flashback to high school cheer tryouts. I had great jumps. I could cheer. But I could not make up my own cheer. I struggled and froze and forgot my cheer. I didn't make the squad that year. I do better being told/taught what to do, I guess. Whatever it is, I hope it disappears at the next class. This is the first thing I've felt any kind of passion for in a long time. It's a giant step out of the hole of depression and anxiety that I've almost been buried in too many times.
Stay tuned for more pictures and video of my amateur burlesque experiences. And if you're in Sacramento and want to try it out yourself or go to the upcoming Blue Collar Burlesque Show, be sure to check out The Siren Show.