Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Scarlett Sinsation Flops Big Time

I've been meaning to post for weeks. I've had some good ideas, but then when I start to write, *POOF* the words are gone.  My life just isn't that interesting, ya know? I'm a working, married, mom of 4.  2 of the 4 don't live at home but pop in and out throughout the month. They don't talk like little adults or give me lots of material to use. Hell, two of them ARE adults and still don't talk like it. I don't have great parenting tips to offer. I don't cook, I'm not particularly crafty, and I like to read but wouldn't want to write about what I read.  My job isn't exciting and if I tried to talk about it most people would have no clue what I was talking about. Occasionally I wish I worked at a place like Wal-Mart. At least I'd have funny stories that everyone could enjoy.  I'm pretty sure I'd get arrested or fired rather quickly, though, since I have very little patience for stupidity.   So that doesn't leave me much to write about.

I love this picture. I wish I looked like this as I sat with writer's block. This is from A Novel Menagerie - a website of book reviews, movie reviews, & more.
What this is leading to is another post about my love of Burlesque dancing. And a video that I have not shared because I look like I have a giant marshmallow for a waist and you can't see me through half the performance, because, well, you'll see why if you watch the video.

I gained weight before the performance. I bought a costume I thought was super cute: a pin-striped mini-skirt and top with a white tie. For some insane reason, I thought that wearing white tights under my fishnets, and pulling the top of the tights up under my top would look okay. But it didn't. While I was dancing, the top kept riding up and then you'd see what looked like marshmallow fluff where my waist should have been... Not attractive. Not at all. On top of that, I'd had a really hard time learning the choreography for this performance. I don't know why - it just wasn't sinking in.

WARNING: This may or may not be similar to what I look like in this video.  Proceed at your own risk. I found this image at artistic abominations sociallyunacceptableart Tumblr account  - if it's not okay to use this here, I'll be happy to remove it if requested.  Also, I don't really know what Tumblr is.

When I saw the video, I swore I wouldn't share it, but I've decided that since I haven't managed to post in ages and writing about my burlesque experiences is the only thing I seem to actually be able to find words for, here you have it.  It's my worst performance of all three. I look awful and I mess up A LOT.

My beautiful and talented girl crush, Sass Herass, was our instructor for this.  Take a peek - hope you enjoy!  Watch Sass (in the middle) so you can see what I SHOULD have looked like.

As always, don't forget to check out The Sizzling Sirens' website for more information on upcoming shows and classes - they're the most incredible group of women!

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