Friday, January 3, 2014

Non-Disposable Words

I have disposable words and phrases. You know, those words I just toss out without thinking about them or sometimes without really meaning them. These words are easy to use. They cover a multitude of situations. They can be used to avoid an argument or appease someone.

  • I'm okay. 
  • I'm good.
  • It's fine.
  • Awesome.
  • Cool.
  • Sure.
  • Oh, yah, I know what you mean.
And then there are my non-disposable words. The ones I try very hard to only use when I mean them completely. They shouldn't be taken lightly.
Too tired to do the correct search for an image I can use -so hopefully no backlash on this one.
This was originally sold by WordsofWisdomNH. Go visit her Etsy shop.
  • You're amazing. Granted, I actually say this fairly frequently. But that is because there is no shortage of people just waiting to tell us all our flaws and faults and I've vowed to try to more often tell people the good things. I usually add specific examples of why I think you're amazing. It might be your capacity for understanding or forgiveness. Your selflessness. Your strength. Your generosity. Your ability to make me feel safe and secure (two things I almost never feel). I might say this to three different people almost simultaneously. It doesn't make it less genuine or true. Pretty much everyone has something amazing about them. Let's let them know when we see it!
  • I love you. Three of the hardest words for me to put together. I don't know why. Although I can't remember for sure, I'm thinking I probably heard them frequently growing up. At times it is harder for me to hear and believe someone loves me then it is to say I love someone, harder to believe there can be love without pain. If I do say them, I mean them. This is not a phrase I utter without thought or meaning. If I love you I also worry about you and hurt for you and want joy for you. 
  • Making love. Yes, most of you have heard me scoff at this phrase and declare it stupid and over used. My tough modern girl act. But I do believe in making love. I believe it's special and rare and not a term that should be used carelessly. It involves a level of emotional connection and commitment that most people having sex don't have. It requires a feeling of total surrender and trust. If I ask you to make love to me it means you've crossed a line with me that few others have. It means I'm opening my entire self up to you: mind, body, heart. I'm letting myself be vulnerable to you. I believe that you have the same feelings about me. And if you tell me you made love to someone, this is what I'm going to think you're talking about. You were in love with, vulnerable to, deeply attached to that person. Much, much different than having sex or any of the other variations on that phrase.
Of course there is a little more to this story. Something that got me thinking about disposable words versus my never-throw-away-lightly words. But that, alas, is a story for another time.