All I Want for Christmas

I got online to write about my horrible Saturday morning. Truly one of the saddest, loneliest experiences of my life. But I can't write about it yet. Then I thought I'd write about changing my ignition coil MYSELF but wasn't feeling that either. So I decided to start early on this year's Christmas (my least favorite holiday) wishlist.

Last year my wish list included going to Hawaii, having Lasik surgery, and getting a boob job. I did go to Hawaii and part of it was paid. I got the sleigh bed frame from that list. And I had lots of red wine over the 10 months. It also looks like I might get that stereo (with installation)!

One of about four pictures of me in Hawaii that isn't hideous.

I'm starting a little early with my daydreaming this year. All I want for Christmas is $5,800. I know, kind of random, right? Like why not $6,000 or $10,000? Because I did something I tried not to do. I caved and borrowed money from a friend to get through a rough time. Until I can pay that off, it's going to weigh on my mind every single day. Now don't be getting all pissy thinking said friend is hounding me about it or making me feel bad in any way. Not a word has been said. But it's eating away at me. Part of my problem is I didn't use it fully as intended - something else came up. A LOT has come up in the last 12 months. Sometimes I've been selfish and spent money I really couldn't afford and shouldn't have (trip to Hawaii anyone? new dress perhaps?) and sometimes it was things caused by others. But the fact is, I can't stand to owe anyone anything. Not a favor, a cup of sugar, and definitely not money.

I did consider trying to start my own business as an escort. But I'm a little old. Plus I have this thing about not breaking the law. And so on. Then I considered a second job. Now? Basically if wishing for it doesn't work (remember, that old saying? Wish in one hand...), the next plan is to buckle down on a tight budget and get shit paid off.

Now if someone wanted to throw in some stocking stuffers, I might suggest the following:

• Red wine. Old vine zin and merlots tend to be my favorites.
• Fuzzy socks. I can never have too many of these in the winter.
• Pitch Perfect on blu-ray or DVD. I'm not picky.
• Gift cards for waxing services. Have you not heard my rants about shaving vs Brazilian waxing and the fact that the after effects of shaving MUST BE what it's like to have crabs (which I've never had, thank gawd, so I don't know for sure). Horrible itching. Horrible.
• Such a Flirt body wash, lotion and body spray from Victoria's Secret. I've run out. If the bronzing lotion exists somewhere THAT would be really fabulous. (Last year I posted this on Twitter as Suck a Flirt, thanks to my phone. There is a VAST difference...)

Apparently the bronzing lotion that was my favorite part of this is impossible to get anymore. But I still love the rest.

P.S. I just remembered that all I wanted for Christmas in 4th grade was my four front teeth. No shit. They came in during fourth or fifth grade, finally, and then I had to go through speech therapy. Four or so years with no top front teeth gives a slight speech impediment.

P.P.S. No, those missing teeth had nothing to do with me saying things like "nekkid" and "wrastling" and calling soda "pop" when I moved to Cali my junior year. Thanks for remembering that, by the way.

NOW do you see why my blog is titled using words synonymous for random and awkward?!